What is love for?
Why do we love?
How has love made the human race successful?
Does anyone else have a rhetorical question?
I have one.
Yes? Guy with the pony tail?
How can I use love to help me?
Love probably evolved from the nurturing instinct. Many organisms feed their young to help the species survive. In fact, nurture comes from the Latin for “nutrition.” That’s why the Balance Wheel page dealing with Love names “hunger” and “thirst” as the most basic stimuli for love. I work from the theory that love evolved from the nurturing instinct.
From that point of view, the answer to the question from Pony-tail Guy is fairly simple. Always use Love in a way that benefits you. In fact, always use any emotion in a way that benefits you.
It’s simple, but it ain’t easy. Desires often conflict, see? For instance, I may have found the perfect girl for me. She’s perfect, I tell you. Her skin color, her proportions, her smile, her hair. Everything just pricks my desire, literally! But she’s selfish. She’s mean. She’s vain. She’s the last person I would spend time with if she were ugly. It’s more confusing than quantum physics. The only likelihood is that I will obtain the thing that I desire. Sounds strange, but it’s true. If I desire rubbing up on the ideal girl more than I desire peace of mind, I will end up with the girl of my dreams. Is it love? Yes. Is love helping me? Nope.
I can not sit here and give an ethical list of priorities for selecting a mate or for finding the “proper” person to love. You should be insulted if I did. You know what is good for you, if you give it some reflection.
That’s why some sort of daily reflection is an important habit for anyone who wants to use emotions effectively. I practice meditation. It takes only five minutes. You can spend thirty minutes at it if you like. But daily reflection is essential to any development of technique whether it’s kung fu or sales or simply feeling your emotions.
The Basic Meditation page in the Toolbox contains an audio meditation that lasts a little over eight minutes. You can download it to a CD or an mp3 player. I don’t charge for those things. People who practice meditation as a habit notice much more control over their thoughts and actions simply by giving themselves time to clear their minds.
Yes, the ability to use Love (or any emotion) effectively begins with a clear, reflective mind. But so does any endeavor in life. Go ahead and use the Basic Meditation or ANY meditation. I’ve used so many different types I can’t remember them all. But once you establish the habit, get ready to have a wonderful and rewarding life of fulfillment.
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This looks interesting. I think maybe my parents could learn something from this.
Thanks for stopping by, Jared. Sometimes parents learn from their kids. Good luck. Stay in touch.
Can you really call it love if you just love the outside of a person? Seems kind a shallow to call that love.
Well, yes. It’s an immature form of love. It’s far down the spectrum in the appetites. But I call it love because it really doesn’t belong anywhere else.